Saturday, January 31, 2009

When will it ever end?

That is what I keep asking myself, when will it ever end? I know I am not the only one in the situation, but man give me a break! Hubby works his tail off as much as he can, he works construction, so pretty much enough said. It just seems like we cant get by. I am not being greedy, I dont think, I just want to be able to pay all my bills and be able to give my kids a little bit of a life. It seems like all I ever tell them is, I am so sorry but we dont have the money. You cant do this or that, because we dont have the money. I am sitting here trying to figure out how I am going to give my daughter a birthday. How I am going to go to the grocery store. It is bad when you have to choose electric or food. How do you choose that? I mean its not like choosing a new shirt over electric, I mean it is two things you have to have yet I have to make the choice which is more important. To make things worse, we are now 400 short a month thanks to a child that scoped out the way we live to use us and then go on down the road. It is a horrible feeling to know that a child could be so mean to his father, not care one bit about his father. But yet he will use him every chance he gets. Why is it that the harder we try to do what is right the worse we get screwed? Just once I would like things to go our way, and just be able to breath and not have to worry about how we are going to pay bills, buy food or anything normal. I just want to quit being screwed damnit!!!!!! I dont even have the peace of mind that one day everyone who has screwed us will get what they deserve, because things like that dont happen for me and my family. We just get screwed again, and worse. I was really hoping that 09 would be a better year for us, but right now is seems to only be worse, and it is only January.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

I am sooo addicted!!!

Ok so I am soooo addicted to BHW...barrelhorseworld. It is a great website that I can ask for help with horses or humans.I have made several friends on there, most of whom I have never met and may never meet. But I think that is the fun in it. On another note, I rode this weekend, the first time since probably August. WOW that has been a long time. I miss getting to ride all the time. I have 2 kids that want to do their own thing, so I guess that is part of being a parent, giving up what I want for my kids. Although, I am hoping this summer to get to go a little more. The horse I have has been a god sent. He is great. I just wish I could get him out there for everyone else to see how great he is. My daughter rode for the first time since she broke her arm in July. I was so scared that she would be too scared to ride again. You see, she has been on a horse all her life, and this was the first time that she has ever really gotten hurt. I was afraid she could talk the talk but could she walk the walk, or trot the trot, whichever way you want to say it. She soooo proved me wrong. At one point while we were riding she say "mom look". I turn around and she is trotting around the arena with her arms straight out, giggling saying " look mom no hands!" Well there went the fear I thought she might have. But then again I was so relieved. I dont know what I would have done if she was scared and didnt want to ride again. I am just thankful it wasnt that. She cant wait to ride again, maybe this weekend. We will see.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

2009...will it be any different?

Well 2009 is here. I brought in the new year with family, so I guess it is off to a good start. I am hoping this year will be better than last. So many things happened last year, and unfortunately not for the good. I am optimistic for this year. That is all I can be. Hope your new year brings happiness and is good to you.